


Protector of the Citadel

by thedreamsandwords



Category: Mass Effect - All Media Types, Mass Effect Trilogy
Genre: C-Sec, F/F, F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-08-05
Updated: 2017-08-16
Packaged: 2018-12-11 14:14:35
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 17
Words: 21,147
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11716053
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thedreamsandwords/pseuds/thedreamsandwords
Summary: C-Sec recruitment is typically restricted to those with distinguished service. Through sponsorship in the ASCEND program, Daine Morah is making every effort to be the exception to the rule. As she gains a foothold in the C-Sec hierarchy alongside her friends from the Academy, she never thought the actions of Jane Shepard, the first humans SPECTRE, would ever have anything to do with her. She couldn't have by any more mistaken.





	1. The Academy

Her stomach wouldn’t stop turning over - it was actually happening. She stood shoulder to shoulder with the other C-Sec cadets, trying to stand as straight as possible while still straining to see over the turian recruits in front of her.

“Today is your first step to becoming protectors of the Citadel - the heart of the galaxy,” the asari Academy head began, pacing the front of the room. “Many of you have seen combat, others are less experienced with being in the line of fire. Regardless, you will all be held to the highest standard during your time in the Academy and beyond. You will face adversity, experience triumphs, and learn from your defeats. Most importantly, you will learn to cooperate with your fellow cadets to utilize each other’s strengths and compensate for your weaknesses. It is only through teamwork that C-Sec maintains law and order in our highly esteemed Citadel.”

Daine swallowed hard. She had been looking forward to this moment for so long, but now that she was here the magnitude of what she would face was starting to set in. Executor Pallin’s speech the night before hadn’t triggered her nerves nearly as bad as they were now. It was just a welcome dinner after all, nothing to get worked up about. This however was their first day as cadets where they would be constantly evaluated on their performance in order to stay and eventually graduate from the program.

The Academy head continued on - Commander Kyala, Dain remembered, the asari’s purple facial stripes gleaming under the lights - “You will be split into groups for your preliminary fitness exams. Assignments are on the bulletin. Report to your assigned station at 0900. Dismissed.”

Daine’s stomach did another somersault. She had found out the night before that she was the only human in her cadet class. It wasn’t a common occurrence, but with the Alliance improving their incentives for continued service more and more human C-Sec candidates were opting for continued military service rather than transferring to the Academy. She knew the required fitness scores to stay in the Academy were tailored by species and gender, but with her competing with so many turians there was no way her scores could compare in the eyes of her superiors.

Suddenly someone lightly elbowed Daine in the ribs as the cadets shuffled over to the bulletin. “Lighten up Morah! They wouldn’t have let you get this far if they thought you were going to flunk out with a little fitness test!”

It was Aseythia Prani, her asari roommate. “You look pale as a sheet. Come on they’re just going to have us do some laps, drag some weights around, maybe yell some insults at us and then we’ll call it a day. Nothing you can’t handle.” 

Daine had only met Aseythia a few days ago after receiving their room assignments. Both of them lived on the Citadel so they were able to meet up before moving into the Academy. Aseythia had a perpetually bubbly personality, but at 300 years old had considerable wisdom to back up her seemingly carefree attitude. Upon asking about Daine’s parents and background she immediately picked up on her roommate’s hesitation and changed subject. Daine was grateful for her discretion and glad she had someone to call a friend at the Academy. Few others were quite so welcoming.

Daine squinted at the bulletin trying to find her name. Abruptly she was pushed aside and tripped, falling on the ground. 

“I don’t wait for low-life humans,” the double toned voice of a turian sounded over her.

“Hey! Watch it!” Aseythia cried as she tried to get to Daine’s side. The offending turian’s cronies blocked her way, pushing away anyone else that was trying to get the bulletin.

A voice sounded behind Daine, “You’ll have to excuse my colleague’s behavior. Our species isn’t normally so hostile to our colleagues. He was just leaving.” The intervening turian, his blue eyes brought out by the azure markings on his face, gave a pointed look at the offender. 

“They should have never started letting humans into C-Sec,” the turian who had pushed Daine grumbled. “We were done anyway.” The group of pushy turians made their way away from the bulletin toward the training center.

“That’s Cael. Not the greatest example of turian service to all.” The turian helped lift Daine to her feet. “Garrus Vakarian. I think we’re in the same group. Your name kind of stands out.”

Daine sighed. “Daine Morah, but I guess you already know that.” It wouldn’t be the last time she stood out like a sore thumb.

“Those jerks! I hope they get the worst drill instructor.” Aseythia had finally been able to make her way over the them and checked the bulletin. “Damnit. I’ve got my mile first thing. We should get going. We only have about 5 minutes to get to our stations.”

Daine looked at her omni tool. Aseythia was right they needed to get going. 

“That should be plenty of time.” Garrus said as they made their way to the training center.


	2. First Fall

“What do you look so dreary for? You smoked your fitness exam! You were even above the asari cutoffs!” Aseythia lounged in her bed across the room, sprawled out after a long day of testing.

“We have combat training tomorrow.” Daine replied flatly.

Unlike most C-Sec recruits, Daine did not have previous combat experience. She had been accepted through the Alliance ASCEND program designed to help foster children like herself enter the military and security training after they turned 18 and were too old to stay in the system. She had trained for two years and had been able to demonstrate she could meet the physical demands expected by the Academy. However, ASCEND hadn’t included any one-on-one combat training and Daine had never held a gun in her life. Her stomach began to turn once again at the thought of being asked to perform in front of all the turians in her class - all of which had completed military service required by turian society. 

“You had to have had some combat training! ASCEND wouldn’t just throw you in here without learning to at least throw a punch.”

Aseythia was partially correct. “We learned to spar with punching bags and mats, but never one-on-one with each another. They got bad press after some exposé video making ASCEND look like a fight club for poor kids or something like that. They had to suspend that portion of the training to pacify the donors” Daine rolled onto her back and stared at the ceiling.

“Well that counts for something,” said Aseythia, trying to find a more comfortable position despite her aching muscles. 

“Just wait until we have to pin a 250-pound turian.” Daine responded.

“The bigger they are the harder they fall! Anyway, let’s try to get some sleep. We have another long day tomorrow.” With a few clicks on her omni tool, Aseythia turned the lights off and Daine was left to her swirling thoughts on her own.

\--

The sparring room smelled like feet and armpit with the addition of an acidic tang typically given off by turian sweat. Daine frowned as their drill instructor moved into position in front of the class.

“I expect most of you have had experience in combat, but I’m here to emphasize what will be most useful to you as a C-Sec officer.” The turian, Sergeant Darrius, had a voice that rang with deep undertones through the sparring room, silencing the crowd of cadets. “Your goal as an officer is more often to disable and detain rather than kill so we will be focusing on restraining and pinning moves.”

There was a considerable amount of grumbling among the cadets. “Sounds like most of these military-fresh kids thought they’d get to go into C-Sec guns blazing,” said a familiar voice behind Daine.

She turned and saw Garrus had leaned over so she could hear him, his mandibles flared in a wicked Turian grin.

Sergeant Darrius went through the proper moves, using another C-Sec sergeant as a sparring partner. 

“I expect each of you to be able to overturn your opponents at least three times and pin them at least once by the end of the exercise. You can run through the motions to warm up, but after that no going easy on each other!” Darrius commanded to the room. “Now report to your stations and get started!”

Their stations had been assigned alphabetically. Daine walked toward the center of the room looking for station 17. She spotted it and she felt the color drain out of her face. There stood Cael with an evil grin on his face.

“Looks like we get to dance again Morah. I hope you’re already warmed up from yesterday. We can go straight to the part where I throw you on the ground again.” Cael smirked, obviously enjoying himself.

Daine took a deep breath trying to calm herself. Of all the scenarios she had run through her head last night, this was by far the worst. She took her position across from Cael raising her fists up in front of her body. She inhaled deeply again trying to remember what little about sparing she had been taught.

“You not even going to say anything? Fine then.” Cael made the first move, swiping out with his fist toward Daine. Standing nearly two feet taller than her, he had a surprising amount of reach and Daine jumped backward to avoid the blow. “Running already? You know you have nowhere to go in here right?” 

Daine took the opportunity to lunge toward him, making contact with his side.

“Oof! Oh now you’ve done it.” Cael kicked her feet out from under her landing Daine face first into the mat. She yelled as Cael twisted her arm behind her harder than he needed to.

“One point for me!” Cael yelled with glee. 

They continued like this for a good hour, Daine able to get a few blows in, but always ending with the stink of the floor mats practically inside her mouth, Cael deriding her the whole time. Toward the end of the session Sergeant Darrius had come over as he observed each sparring partner. 

“Very nice form Cadet Molgatus! Your father would be proud!” Darrius praised Cael.

“It seems my partner has barely been able to get close enough to even think about overturning me. Seems she could use some more practice back with those wannabees in ASCEND.” Cael sneered as Daine picked herself up, wiping the blood off her cut lip and reassuming combat position as best she could despite her throbbing body.

“No need for another round.” Darrius said to them. Projecting his voice, Darrius address the rest of the class, “Those that have completed their allotted three overturns and one pin of their opponent go ahead and shower for lunch. Those that have not are responsible for staying and mopping out the sparring room.”

Dain’s heart sunk as she watched every other cadet start to leave except her. She saw Aseythia look back toward her with worry creasing her forehead.

“Mop is in that closet. I’d get going if you want to eat before the afternoon session.” Darrius gestured toward a door at the side of the room and made his way out of the room.

Daine did her best to swallow her pride, trying not to let today’s early defeat get to her. She had so many other obstacles to conquer that day she could not let herself break down.


	3. Help Comes

Aseythia thankfully saved some lunch for Daine and she was able to scarf down a few bites before they had to report to their afternoon session. They were done with hand-to-hand combat for the day and they filed into one of the combat simulation arenas that was currently set up like a warehouse. Commander Kyala stood in front of them, this time in full armor. 

“As I introduced myself yesterday, I am Commander Kyala, both the head of C-Sec Academy and a commander in the Special Response Division. Here we are going to practice moving in and out of cover under fire. Each of you will be wearing special receiver armor that will both simulate the weight of battle armor and indicate if you have been hit by enemy fire, which is this case is some of my SRD officers with modified laser weapons. Your goal is to reach the opposite end of the arena without being hit. Those that do not reach this goal owe me sprints at the end of the session. Atesir through Pegatus, suit up so we can begin.” The Commander moved to the viewing station as half of the cadets began to put on the receiver suits.

“Guess we’re up!” said Aseythia, trying lighten Daine’s spirits.

Daine only nodded in response and strapped the vest, gauntlets, and greaves on and picked out a helmet to wear. 

The cadets went through the course in groups of five, each moving from box to box to avoid the laser fire and get to the other side of the arena. Daine was fast enough to complete the challenge without too much of a problem. She was so sore from sparring earlier though that her leg collapsed from under her at one point, leading her to hurdle into two of her teammates behind the boxes and bringing out audible laughter in the onlookers.

Some of the cadets weren’t as successful, with some of the more bulky turians unable to completely tuck themselves behind the shipping boxes. Several ended up running sprints at the end of class.

“Turians don’t know how to duck,” Garrus had commented.

Daine walked out of the arena space exhausted. She flopped herself onto one of the benches in the hallway and closed her eyes, trying to will the pain away enough to make it to the dining hall. Hell, she might even skip dinner just to reach the comfort of her bed earlier.

“I saw some of your sparring today. Tough break.” 

Daine opened her eyes to see Garrus had stopped in front of her, arms crossed, mandibles half flared. He was up to something.

“Please don’t remind me,” Daine half pleaded.

“You’re obviously not military, doesn’t look like you’re former police. Who let you in the Academy not being able to fight?” Garrus mused.

“ASCEND,” Daine replied flatly, closing her eyes again.

Garrus took that in for a minute, seeming to ruminate over something in his mind. “You’re fast and strong. Definitely have potential. You probably haven’t fired a gun either have you?” Garrus said it more as a statement than a question. Daine just let him continue.

“I thought so. I think I can help you. But it’s not going to be easy.”

At his Daine opened her eyes. “Help? Me?! How?”

“Meet me in the sparring room after dinner.”

Daine groaned at the thought of moving any more today.

“I told you it wouldn’t be easy.” And with that Garrus walked away toward the dining hall.

Daine watched him go, trying to figure out why a turian would want to help someone as low on the totem pole as she was. They were all supposed to hate humans right? Daine shook this off and mustered what strength she still had to stand up and shuffle to dinner.


	4. When Least Expected

When Daine arrived in the sparring room Garrus was already there. She felt a little better with some food in her stomach, she just hoped she could keep it down through another round of training.

“Good. You decided to come. I thought you would.” Garrus turned to face her. “ASCEND isn’t an easy program. It sucks that they had to downgrade combat training.”

“Put any activist in a room with a camera and they can make anything look bad,” Daine said dryly.

“The galaxy revolves around keeping the people with money happy,” Garrus responded. “Anyway time to remedy the gaps in your training.” 

Garrus paced the floor looking over at Daine to make sure she was paying attention. 

“In boot camp they drilled into us not to underestimate humans. Turians might have a size advantage, but if a human hits you the right way you’re in for a world of hurt.” Garrus paused in his pacing. 

“Turians have three main weak points. Behind the spurs…” he pointed to the area behind his knee guarded by a thick spur. “...above our hips at our waist, and if you get close enough, our fringe at the base of our neck.” Garrus indicated the other two areas. “Behind the spurs is probably the hardest to hit, but will be the most useful to you in toppling and detaining your enemy.”

Garrus went back to pacing. “As for most other species on the Citadel, humans, asari, and salarians are all squishy all over and the moves you use on turians should work just fine. The only difference is they’re much faster so you will have to take that into account. You’re pretty fast to begin with and you’ll build reflexes with time. Shouldn’t be a problem once you get some practice in.”

Garrus’s brow furrowed. “Your literal biggest problem will be krogan, but I don’t recommend taking them on in hand-to-hand. Best bring a gun. And probably some backup.”

Garrus stopped and assumed a combat-ready position. “Now let’s see what you’ve got.”

Daine moved across from him mirroring his pose. Knees, hips, neck. Shouldn’t be too hard. She swallowed trying not to think about combat training earlier that morning. She moved in to make the first hit.

Garrus was ready for her and blocked her punch, grabbing her arm and twisting in the process. Daine resisted and twisted back, breaking his grip and moving away.

“Good! And here I thought you didn’t have any combat experience.” Garrus applauded.

“Live with a dozen other foster children long enough and you learn how to break a grip.” Daine replied.

Garrus chuckled and made a swipe of his own. Daine dodged and moved in again, this time landing her fist on his waist where he had indicated turians were sensitive. 

“Ooof!” Garrus grunted as the wind was knocked out of him. Life in the military had taught him to push through the pain though and he swung at Daine’s knees, knocking them out from under her. She landed hard on her back, with the wind knocked out of her own lungs.

“Damnit.” Daine gasped.

“You have to protect your own weak points when you go in for mine.” Garrus grinned at her and offered an arm up. “Use your speed to your advantage. With a larger enemy, you want to get in small hits and wear them out before moving in to finish them off. Again.”

Daine nodded and assumed a ready position. They continued like this for several rounds, Daine getting better and better at dodging Garrus’s lunges, but always ending up on the ground in the end.

Garrus helped up a panting Daine for what seemed like the hundredth time. “One last round and we’ll call it quits. We’ll both need our rest.”  
Daine nodded and forced her aching muscles into a ready position. She moved in and out as she had before, making contact and dodging away before Garrus could make a hit on her. Suddenly as he was side stepping he stumbled, causing him to look down. Daine saw her chance and moved in jabbing her elbow into the soft spot behind one of his spurs hard. Garrus yelped and fell forward.   
Half shocked that it had actually worked, Daine only stood there for a second. Garrus’s attempt to right himself snapped her back into action and pulled one of Garrus’s arms behind him, pressing her knee into the center of his back before he could do so.  
“Ouch! Impressive! Congratulations Daine Morah, you just pinned a turian.” Garrus exclaimed, his voice almost comically muffled by the mat.  
Daine let him up and helped him to his feet. “Let’s just hope my opponent is exhausted from twelve hours of training,” Daine replied, still shocked she had actually done it.  
“Hey, move like that and you might survive a krogan attack,” said Garrus flaring his mandibles in a smile.  
Daine cracked a small smile back, trying not to think about actually having to take on a krogan.  
“Come on we should get some rest. We have a long week ahead of us.” Garrus gestured toward the door and they both walked out of the sparring room toward the dorms.


	5. Hell Week

The training sessions for the cadets didn’t get any easier. The tasks during their first week were primarily physical – living up to its name of “hell week” as their bodies hurt more and more with each passing day. Their morning hand-to-hand training continued through the week, but thankfully they rotated sparring partners, allowing Daine avoid facing Cael again.

Daine’s evening sparring sessions with Garrus had paid off. She had an asari and salarian partner the first two days since sparring with Cael and had managed to keep pace with them despite their greater speed and flexibility. She was able to generate enough power into her blows she could generally incapacitate them once she was able to land a hit.

On the third day she faced another turian, this time a female. Daine recalled Garrus’s word of caution – What female turians lack in reach and size they make up for in speed and flexibility. Daine assumed a ready position in front of her opponent and waited for the signal to begin. 

In many ways the female turian was similar to sparring with Garrus. Though her reach was comparatively shorter than a male turian’s, it was still much longer than Daine’s. Daine employed the same strategy she used with Garrus, moving in and out quickly to make the turian block and dodge, occasionally getting a hit in without getting hit herself. The female turian was indeed faster than Garrus, reacting to Daine’s moves and usually able to block her. Daine could see she was getting tired though.

Daine faked left and side stepped right, putting the female turian off balance. Daine moved in, elbowing the turian’s waist and kicking down on the soft spot behind her knee. The female turian’s spurs were much smaller than Garrus’s and Daine’s heel made solid contact, collapsing the turian forward. Daine completed the pin and held it until the turian submitted.

Clapping sounded above her. “Very nice! Much improved from a few days ago.” It was Sergeant Darrius making his rounds to each sparring group. 

The Sergeant moved on as Daine let the turian up and gave her a hand righting herself.

“That really was impressive,” the female turian said. “I saw you struggling against Cael on the first day of sparring. You must have really been practicing.”  
The turian attempted to stretch out her arms and back, areas that had to have been hurting this late into hell week. “Xenarius Calamus, but you can call me Xena.”  
Daine continued her sparring session with Xena, pinning her once more. Xena had a good eye for seeing Daine’s openings and mistakes though and the human found herself laying on the mat a few times as well.

“Good session. I look forward to working with you,” Xena said as the sparring session came to a close. Maybe Daine’s assumptions about turian animosity had been wrong after all. Every species had to have a few bad eggs like Cael.  
\---  
After dinner that day, Daine met Garrus in the sparring room as usual. However this time, he immediately started toward the exit.

“I think I’ve taught you enough to survive hand-to-hand training for now and besides, I don’t think either or our bodies could take more of a beating,” Garrus said as he met Daine at the sparring room door. “Weapons training starts tomorrow though and if I remember right you’ve never even held a gun. I’d like to fix that before you’re asked to shoot one for all our sakes.”

From Garrus’s smile Daine could tell he was only joking with her. However, she hesitated as he went to open the door and gestured for her to follow.

“Why are you doing this? This…helping me,” Daine finally said.

At this Garrus crossed his arms and leaned against the door. “I guess it must seem strange to you, a turian going out of their way to help a human. My father would probably have encouraged me to let you struggle and likely drop out.”

Garrus seemed to look beyond her, pondering something. Then one of his half smiles spread across his face and he chuckled to himself. “However, I’ve found doing the opposite of what my father would do in situations like these is generally the best course of action. Call me a bad turian, but regardless of species we’re all in the same boat together. We’re all going to be partners one day. Might as well make sure they’re good ones.”

With that, Garrus started walking away toward the shooting range. Daine took a moment to let his words sink in. We’re all in the same boat. Xena must have seen this and respected Daine for improving herself and therefore their eventual team as a whole. Including other species, particularly humans, in their sense of public duty rubbed many turians the wrong way, but others must be starting to see they were members of the galactic community and here to stay.

Daine followed Garrus to the shooting range and he began a mini lesson on the types of guns typically used by C-Sec officers. They didn’t actually get to shooting that night, but Garrus made sure Daine could identify all the pertinent parts and properly disassemble and reassemble each weapon. 

“Trust me, you’ll be thanking me tomorrow,” said Garrus.

“I’m sure I will,” Daine replied, imagining trying to learn this during one of their afternoon sessions where everyone struggled to fight drowsiness and stay attentive. “I’ll see you tomorrow. And thank you…for everything Garrus.”

Garrus nodded as they got up to leave.


	6. Guns

Daine indeed ended up silently thanking Garrus as their weapons instructor threw them into cleaning and repairing guns the following afternoon. Most cadets had weapons training and it was supposed to be an “easy task” to finish out their final hours of hell week. However, during the second half of the session they were timed during their weapon assemblies, adding a certain amount of stress to their relatively easy afternoon off their feet.

Sergeant Uralo, the salarian weapons instructor, added additional pressure by trying to distract them during their assemblies, creating sudden noises, flashing the lights, and hitting them on the back of the head when they least expected it.

“If your weapon jams in the middle of a fire fight, your enemy isn’t going to pause for you to repair it without distraction!” Uralo kept telling them over and over.  
Daine was able to complete her assembly without too much trouble. She forgot to put one piece in place and had to partially disassemble her work to get it right, but she finished with an acceptable time. She never thought she would be thankful to have grown up with so many children at the foster home. There had never been a quiet moment there and someone was always whacking her for taking this or using that when they wanted to. She was used to having to focus through chaos. She turned in her weapon for inspection and breathed a sigh of relief. She had made it through hell week.  
\--  
Daine laid in her bed, still buzzed from that evening’s celebrations. She found she had more friends than she expected. In addition to Aseythia and Garrus, Xena and a few other cadets had joined them at the bar to celebrate their completion of hell week. It had been nice to talk and laugh with the others without the pressure of the Academy.

She closed her eyes in thought. She would have never thought she would have so many friends a few years ago.

_She sat at the small desk in her shared room, trying to fill out the application for ASCEND using a data pad borrowed from her caretaker. She had stopped calling any of them mom or dad. With her moving around so much it was easier that way._

_“DAINNEE it’s MY turn to play with the pad!” Daine sighed as the ten-year-old she shared a room with entered whining._

_“Just ten more minutes Delanie. It’s important,” Daine replied pulling the data pad out of the younger girl’s reach._

_“But I want to play with it NOW!!” the girl wailed._

_Not this again. The smaller girl made every effort to get the pad from Daine as she did her best to read over the last lines of her application essay. She had been hesitant to finally submit it, but now it seemed she had no other choice. Daine finally hit submit and turned the pad over to the girl, now trying to climb the chair to wrench the device out of her hands._

_“Here Delanie. Happy now?” Daine handed the pad over and left the room._

_She walked to the end of the hall, checked to see no one was watching her, and climbed out the window to the fire escape. Once at her quiet place on the roof, Daine let out a sigh. It was the only place she had been able to find peace after being transferred to the Citadel. She had liked her last few homes on the countryside of Eden Prime. Life had been much simpler there. Quieter._

_She had been too young to really remember her parents’ deaths. They had apparently been merchants on Elysium before they had been caught at the wrong place at the wrong time by some black-market dealers that had slipped through security’s fingers. Unable to locate any family back on Earth, Daine had been sent as a baby to Eden Prime with the hope the Exodus cluster would prove safer for her. Her transfer to the Citadel had been arranged after her last foster family had grown too old to care for her and no replacement on the planet could be found._

_She watched the lights of the sky cars cutting through the darkness of the artificial night. She liked the challenge of trying to pick out the C-Sec vehicles in the rush, their pulsing blue lights barely distinguishable in all the red and white._

_Someday, she would join them, she thought, breathing the sterilized Citadel air. She would make up for where Elysium security had failed her family and make sure no other children had to grow up the way she did, never feeling they belonged or ever making close ties with anywhere or anyone._

Daine turned toward Aseythia’s sleeping form across the room. It felt good to have friends. To belong somewhere. And with that she closed her eyes and drifted off to sleep.


	7. Roses

The weeks of training at the Academy seemed to fly by. After hell week the physical training session continued in the mornings, but their afternoons were now spent in the classroom, learning every detail about Citadel laws, codes, and customs. Having lived on the Citadel for some time, Daine was familiar with many of the laws – both written and unwritten. However, she couldn’t have imagined how complex some of the legal language was. Everyone typically left these classroom sessions with their heads throbbing trying to piece it all together.

Garrus and Daine had continued their evening training sessions and they continued to pay off as Daine’s skills greatly improved. At first they alternated between weapons training and combat, but as their formal training sessions became more weapons heavy they began to spend more time at the shooting range. Daine had become a decent shot and liked using the sniper rifles in particular, much to Garrus’s delight. She would even come in on their days off to practice her long-range shooting. Garrus came with one of these free days and brought his personal rifle with him – a M-98 Widow.

“This one has a lot more kick than you’re used to. You can take down krogan with this,” Garrus said as he extended the barrel into place.

He made her put on armor to use it. “It’ll likely shatter your arm otherwise,” Garrus told her almost too casually.

Blue eyes wide, half with fear and half with excitement, Daine accepted the weapon from Garrus. She set herself up in front of the target, setting the distance at a hundred yards.

“Make sure your kinetic barriers are on. It’ll help absorb the recoil,” advised Garrus.

“If I break my arm from this thing I’m going to kill you. And I can probably even actually do that now,” replied Daine, voice slightly wavering from nerves.

She got in position and looked through the scope. It was an upgraded one from what C-Sec had and told her all the variables she needed to adjust her aim. She chuckled to herself at the wind speed reading, using the rifle on a space station with virtually no wind. Once fully adjusted, she relaxed her body while preparing to tense her muscles to take the weapon’s recoil. She exhaled evenly and pulled the trigger.

The rifle indeed had more kick than anything she’d shot before, but Daine was ready for it. Her barriers held and took the impact and she tensed her muscles to keep the weapon steady. Looking through the scope, her shot had hit home.

“I hit it!” exclaimed Daine, giddy that she had shot the rifle without losing an arm.

“Of course you did I taught you how to shoot,” replied Garrus with one of his grins.

She shot the weapon a few more times before her shoulder started to get sore.

“You get used to it. And if you’re good you don’t have to fire it too many times.” Garrus helped break the rifle down as she removed the battle armor.  
Before they were about to leave Garrus paused. “You know you should really consider looking into the Special Response Division. Once your probationary period is up of course.”

Daine was dumbstruck. She had only learned to fight and shoot within the last few weeks. Most SRD operatives were seasoned veterans, most with a military background. She realized her mouth had been hanging open.

“I, uh, you really think so?” Daine asked her friend.

“You know this place’s nooks and crannies better than anyone and you’ve honed your combat skills faster than any recruit I’ve ever seen. Consider it.” With that they made their way out of the shooting range.  
\--  
Before the cadets knew it their last days at the Academy had come to a close. They had completed their final exams, both written and practical and passed despite all their worries. The graduation ceremony was met with a standing ovation from their instructors and many other C-Sec officers as they welcomed the new cadets into the force. Daine had even been presented with the Herrius Sancnian Memorial Award, bestowed onto a cadet that represented the cohesiveness and cooperation so valued in C-Sec as voted by her classmates.

“You should have this,” Daine told Garrus after the ceremony, holding the award out to him. “Without you I wouldn’t even be here still.”

“What? No way! Rallying your teams during drills was all you. I saw you make two turians that hated each other to the bone work together. This one is all you, Daine,” Garrus replied pushing the award back toward her.

“He’s right, you know,” a familiar flanging voice said behind them, one that made Daine’s stomach drop.

She turned to see Cael behind them, eyes to the ground. “You…deserved that award. I’m sorry I was…” he hesitated, trying to find words.

“An ass?” Garrus offered.

“I…yes. I shouldn’t have…underestimated you.” With that Cael made his way past them, still unable to make eye contact.

“Would you look at that. I guess there’s hope even for the worst of us,” Garrus said in half amazement.

C-Sec had rented out Flux for the night and the former cadets made their way to the bar. Most of the current officers at the ceremony joined them.

“Nothing says ‘Welcome to C-Sec’ better than a strong drink, right?” Aseythia had caught up to Daine and Garrus as they entered the nightclub.  
It was a fun night celebrating with their classmates and getting to know their new colleagues. As Aseythia and Daine waited at the bar for their next round, one of the officers approached them.

“This one’s on me ladies,” the human male said. “Congratulations on surviving the Academy. It’s not walk in the park.” His beaming smile could light up a room. His handsome features were pretty easy on the eyes as well, Daine observed. “You can come join us if you like – get to meet some of your fellow officers.”

“We’ll think about it. Thanks for the drink!” Aseythia told him as their drinks arrived.

He nodded and returned to his table.

Daine elbowed Aseythia in the ribs. “What are you doing?! He was totally hot!”

“Exactly. You never want to seem _too_ interested or they get the wrong idea,” Aseythia replied coyly. “Besides he was practically drooling over you. Come on, I think we waited just long enough now.”

Aseythia started to make her way to the officer’s table, gesturing for Daine to follow. Daine shook her head in amazement as she followed. How on earth did she know these things? Three hundred years of life must count for something.


	8. Quarrels

Daine gave her reports one final look over. She had been assigned to patrols on the Presidium along with a few other former cadets that had limited field experience. Though she could had proven she could hold her own at the Academy, she still needed to learn the ins and outs of C-Sec and the shades of grey that existed in enforcing the Citadel’s regulations. Daine was grateful she didn’t have to be figuring out the unspoken rules at C-Sec while also watching her back in more dangerous patrols in the Wards, or worse, around Chora’s Den.

“Reports can’t be taking you _that_ long. What did an ambassador sneeze in the wrong direction today?” The male voice came from behind her as its owner tousled her hair.

Daine frowned in response. She could feel pieces of hair falling out of her ponytail. “I was just finishing. Give me a minute.”

“Oh come on, don’t look at me like that. I’ll let you choose where we go for dinner.”

The man was now in front of her desk waiting impatiently. Despite her current mild annoyance, Daine liked Dominic. His green eyes and dark hair were just as handsome as the first night she had met him with Aseythia at Flux. They had gone on a few dates after that night and she had been attracted to his humor and charm. He had also lived on a farm on Eden Prime for part of his life before doing a stint in the Alliance military.

_“There were just too many rules,” he had said to her across the table. “So I joined up with these folks her see more of the grey in things.”_

_She shook her head. “So the 500 pages of rules and regulations we had to learn in the Academy aren’t ‘too many rules?!”_

_“You can throw that book out. Take payoffs from the right people and knock the right people around a little bit and there will be eternal peace on the Citadel,” he replied._

“Hey! Citadel to Daine! Is it day dream time or dinner time?! Let’s go!”

“I don’t know I think I need to include a few more details on the shade of orange of Ambassador Aezor’s robe. It seemed to be highly offensive to the hanar evangelical trying to preach in the commons,” Daine replied to Dominic’s impatience, smiling teasingly. Dominic rolled his eyes.

Daine rose from her chair. “Let me change out of my uniform. I’ll meet you outside.”

Finally, they were on their way to the wards in their civilian clothes. On their first few dates, Daine had put in a great deal of effort to wear her best clothes and put on some makeup before meeting up with Dominic. Now that they were further into their relationship, they were comfortable just grabbing dinner together after work, usually with one of them staying the night at the other’s apartment.

“You said I get to choose tonight right? I’m down for burgers,” Daine told Dominic as they approached a strip of restaurants.

“I could have guessed,” Dominic said, smiling at her. “You might still be a rookie officer, but I wouldn’t get between you and some red meat if someone paid me.”

Daine smiled back at him as they entered the human bar and grill to their left.

Their night was uneventful and quiet, both of them tired from a full week of patrols. Daine was getting moved to the upper wards next week and Dominic gave her a few tips on people to watch out for.

“While it’s not quite as boring as the Presidium, your main complaint is still going to be some person looked at so-and-so the wrong way or some guy is trying to return something to the wrong shop,” Dominic told her as he finished his last bite of burger.

Daine had already moved on to her fries. “Well it’ll be a good change of scenery. I also got a notice that I can start Special Response Division training now that I’m not a probationary officer anymore,” Daine told him.

“You…what?! Babe that stuff is way too dangerous for you. You don’t want to get mixed up with that crowd. They’re mostly turians. I wouldn’t be there to protect you,” Dominic responded, sounding upset.

“Protect me from what? I managed just fine on my own in ASCEND and the Academy and one of those turians said I’d do great in SRD,” said Daine, slightly defensive.

“But what about me Daine? You going to let me worry about you all day thinking you’re going to get killed? You think you can handle that stuff but you’ve never seen the real thing. My woman isn’t going into combat. Stay away from that program Daine.” Dominic crossed his arms as if his word was final.

“ _Your_ woman?! I’m still my own person. And getting into the SRD has been my goal since I graduated the Academy,” Daine responded, now fully pushing back against his overprotectiveness.

“You’re not even going respect my wishes?! You’re really going to insult me like that?!” Dominic’s voice had become louder as his emotions began to peak.

Daine eyed the other occupants of the restaurant who were avoiding eye contact with anything near their table, trying to ignore the scene unfolding. Slowly, keeping her voice even Daine tried to soothe him without giving up ground. “Dominic I love you, but this is my choice. I can handle myself.”

With that Dominic slammed his hands on the table and stood up. “Fine then. Forget about tonight. Since you’re so great at taking care of yourself you can do just that.”

With that Dominic stormed out of the restaurant. Red faced and eyes down, Daine asked the waitress for the check. She said something with feigned cheerfulness, but Daine wasn’t listening. She just wanted to get out of there.

_What in the galaxy set him off?_

Daine was lost in her thoughts as she made her way back to her apartment. She had only seen him be overprotective once when she went out for drinks with a few male coworkers. She had thought that had just been a miscommunication about where she was going.

_Maybe he’s just gotten used to me being his subordinate. We’re technically the same rank now. Maybe that’s making him uncomfortable._

Daine shook her head. Everyone at the office trusted her to do good work and had almost immediately included her into their community. Dominic should see something in that. People had respect for her even as a probie. He didn’t need to feel like he had to watch out for her.

She arrived at her apartment and smiled to herself despite her sour mood. Getting her own apartment on the Citadel was probably the best thing that had happened to her since graduation. It was just a small one bedroom with a combined kitchen and living space, but for the first time in her life she had a space that was truly hers.

Daine flopped down on the couch emotionally exhausted. She turned on the television and let that night’s lineup of shows take her mind off her boyfriend troubles.


	9. Trusted Counsel

Several months passed and the former cadets from Daine’s class settled into their new postings as full officers of Citadel Security. Daine and Dominic had made up after their fight and Dominic begrudgingly accepted that Daine was doing Special Response Division training whether he wanted to or not. Aseythia had encouraged Daine to stand her ground on the matter.

“If someone truly loves you they’ll support you in your dreams and goals. There’s always going to be some compromise, but Dominic shouldn’t stop you just because he says so.”

Aseythia was always there to be a sounding board for Daine and offer support. Her girlish, lighthearted personality always knew when to give way to a more serious side that offered Daine a great deal of wisdom when she needed it most.

SRD training had pushed Daine to new levels of fitness and tactical skill. The drove her hard and emphasized that in this field, any wrong move could be the difference between life or death. Her missions as a trainee involved her shadowing one of the veterans while staying in cover the majority of the time. She was armed, but she wasn’t to engage unless absolutely necessary.

Despite the rigor of the SRD training, it was Daine’s favorite part of her day. Being up and moving, dodging in and out of cover felt some much better than patrolling for shoplifters on the wards. Nothing could be the adrenaline rush on missions. Her first SRD mission she shadowed had been a hostage situation. Her mentor for the mission had been posted as a sniper and made the kill shot of the targeted captor, letting the rest of their squad sweep the building and free his prisoners. While she didn’t mind patrols, here Daine felt like she could make a real difference. It would be another year before she could become a full squad member, but it was worth every drill. This is where she saw herself.

Dominic didn’t like it when Daine would talk about these missions. “Look, you can do your SRD thing even though you know I don’t like it. I don’t want to hear about it though, all right? Women really shouldn’t be running around with that bunch.”

“Commander Kyala is a woman and she’s one of the highest-ranking SRD members!” Daine combatted.

He sighed. “Asari don’t count Daine. And she’s not _my_ woman.”

It always rubbed Daine the wrong way when he said that, but she let it slide. Other than his opposition to her work with SRD, she had been enjoying her time with him and their continued relationship.

Between patrols, SRD training, and spending time with Dominic, Daine hadn’t had much time to catch up with her friends from the Academy. It surprised her when a message from Garrus came up on her omni tool.

_Got a chance to chat? I’m buying. – Garrus_

With a puzzled look, Daine responded to the message that she was free that evening and she could meet him at Flux after her shift ended. It would be nice to see Garrus again, but she couldn’t help but wonder what it was he needed to talk specifically her about.

She sent a second message to Dominic that she would be out with a friend, that yes he was male, no they weren’t meeting at Chora’s Den, and yes she would check in with him afterward.

It was a weekday so Flux wasn’t too crowded. Mostly soldiers on shore leave and a handful of gamblers. Daine found Garrus at the bar and slipped into the seat next to him.

“Well hello stranger. Glad you haven’t gotten too far up in the ranks to meet with your old friend Garrus.”

Daine elbowed him in the ribs. “I’m still the same rank as you and I see you haven’t changed a bit.”

Garrus was still in his cobalt blue armor from patrols earlier and wearing his wicked grin. _Just like old times._

“Word is there’s some human rookie that’s been killing it in her SRD drills. Might even have potential as a sniper. But I couldn’t have taught you _that_ well could I?” Garrus’s grin had only gotten wider and Daine just shook her head and smiled.

“It always comes back to you doesn’t it. You know, I learned a thing or two during training. _That_ might have had something to do with it.”

Garrus leaned back in his chair and crossed his arms, faking a smug tone. “Oh I have no doubt about that. I just want to make sure you never live down spending most of your first days at the Academy face first in a mat before I came along.”

Daine only responded with another elbow to his ribs.

“Oof! Alright, alright. I did say I was buying and I can’t do that if you take all your wrath out on me.” He ordered their drinks and assumed a more comfortable position, leaning against the bar.

“As good as it is to see you Daine, I didn’t call you here just for shits and giggles.” His face became more serious as he paused, collecting his thoughts. “I need some…advice.”

Daine had no way of hiding the surprise on her face. Why would he with so much more life experience need advice from her?

“You’ve had to have heard the rumors about the SPECTRE Saren going rouge,” Garrus began.

Daine nodded in response. “I’ve heard a thing or two, but last news was the Council was denying the claims against him.”

 “You’ve heard right. I was assigned the formal investigation into Saren. He’s always had a shady history and I knew the claims against him couldn’t have just been fabricated. It was the humans that brought the complaints before the Council after all – accused him of killing another turian SPECTRE. What kind of stake would they have in that? No offense, but to most humans the only good kind of turian is a dead one.”

Daine laughed softly at this. “I would have probably been in that boat if you hadn’t intervened with Cael.”

Garrus gave a half laugh. “I almost forgot about him. He was a real ass back then, huh.” His face remained troubled, though. There was still something on his mind. He continued with his story.

“My investigation didn’t really get anywhere. Red tape everywhere. SPECTRE files and operations are sealed so there was no hard evidence I could present. I went to Executor Palin for more time, but he denied my request. Said the Council’s word was final. My discussion with him got heated enough that the human that was testifying against Saren took notice. She…asked me to join her and help take him down.”

Garrus stopped there, starring at the back of the bar. Daine was slightly dumbfounded. Would he really leave C-Sec to chase this guy down?

“Well what did you tell her?” Daine finally asked.

“I said I needed to think about it. It would obviously mean leaving C-Sec, at least for a little bit. There’s one more thing though.” He took a long drink from his glass and continued.

“She sent me a message today. She found a quarrian with hard evidence proving Saren attacked the people he was sworn to protect. She presented it to the council and they ended up granting her SPECTRE status to go after him. The Alliance granted her command of the SSV Normandy and they’re leaving tomorrow. She wants to know if I’ll join her.”

Daine was thunderstruck. A _human_ SPECTRE? Sent out to take down another SPECTRE? She was shocked the news feeds hadn’t picked up on the story yet.

Not discouraged by Daine’s shocked silence, Garrus continued. “I’m…seriously considering it. C-Sec is great and all, but half the time I spend more time bogged down in red tape than actually protecting the Citadel. I just…need to make sure I’m not making a rash decision Daine. I trust you. Should I do it?”

For the third time that night Daine was taken aback. She was touched the turian had come to her for advice. For most of their friendship it had been the other way around.

Daine finally found her voice again. “I don’t see why not. She sounds pretty open to working with other species and working with a SPECTRE should be the exact opposite of all the red tape we deal with at C-Sec. You’d be doing what you wanted to do by joining C-Sec in the first place – protecting the people that need it the most. Colonists don’t stand a chance against those Geth attacks they’ve been reporting on and if Saren is behind them, they need your help to stop him.”

Garrus remained silent for a moment, considering her words. “Yes. I’ll do it then. Thank you, Daine. I would have asked my dad for advice, but he lives and bleeds C-Sec and I doubt he would let me just pick up and leave.”

Daine remembered coming across another Vakarian in the C-Sec logs. Castis, is she remembered correctly. “Well you told me a long time ago that doing the opposite of what your father would do was generally the best course of action.”

This got a chuckle out of Garrus, finally breaking his solemn expression.

“I guess I won’t see you again for a while then,” Daine realized mournfully.

Garrus seemed genuinely disappointed as well. “I guess so.” He looked thoughtfully at her. “Hopefully we’ll make some stops back at the Citadel before the mission is complete. I think you would like the Commander. She reminds me of you.”

They had both finished their drinks and had stood up to leave. “I guess this is goodbye for now then,” Daine said.

“I guess so.” Garrus offered her his hand and she shook it. She stood there a moment as he turned and began walking toward the exit.

“Wait! Garrus!” Daine ran to catch up with him and buried him in a hug. Garrus hesitated, slightly taken aback, but returned the gesture.

“Don’t forget to duck okay?” Daine said to him.

He rolled his eyes mandibles half flaring in a grin. “I keep telling you turians don’t know how.”


	10. Over Your Head

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: depictions of torture, here and in chapters to come

A few months had passed since Garrus had left with the SPECTRE – Commander Jane Shepard Daine had found out later. Her daily routine continued as usually. Meeting up with Garrus made Daine realize how much missed hanging out with her friends from the Academy. Sure, they were all busy, but it was always so good to see them at catch up when they could. She began putting more effort into making time for her friends, especially Aseythia who had been her rock from the beginning. Even Xena had made it out to several of their meetups and had a striking sense of humor once she lightened up a few drinks in.

The only problem with rekindling her relationships with her friends was Dominic.

“Didn’t you _just_ go out two nights ago?!” Dominic’s irritation colored his voice.

“I told you, Xena has been on call all through that protein vat incident on Kithoi Ward. She only got off tonight!” Daine replied.

“Don’t get cute with me. You’re seeing someone else while I’ve been working nights. You know what I’ll do if I find out about it!” Dominic’s voice trembled with the rage he was fighting to hold back.

“Dominic what is your problem?! They’re my friends!” Daine had almost forgotten how overprotective he could be.

They had only really gotten to see each other that last few weeks in the evenings between when Daine ended her shift and Dominic started his. It had been almost relieving for Daine to spend nights on her own without Dominic drilling her on who she’d talked to or trying to look over her shoulder to read her omni tool messages. She had adjusted so gradually to Dominic’s quirks and requests that she hadn’t realized how restraining they were until she was temporarily free of them.

“Just tell me you’re not going out tonight. Or ever. Not without me,” Dominic demanded.

“You’re taking this way too far. I don’t need you to babysit me,” Daine replied.

“You’ve got to be kidding me! After all I do for you all you can say is you don’t need me?!” Dominic slammed his fist into the wall of her living room, leaving a noticeable dent. “Forget it. You say you can take care of yourself so you can do just that.” He stormed out the door.

Daine let out a breath she hadn’t realized she had been holding. She was relieved he was finally gone. How had she let things go so far?

It had been good to meet up with Xena that night. No suspicion, accusations, or demands. Just two people enjoying each other’s company.

“I don’t know if Dominic and I are going to be a thing much longer,” Daine admitted to Xena after they’d had a few drinks.

“Honestly that’s a relief. I’m not one to pry into other people’s relationships, but that guy needs to take it down a notch. Or ten.” Xena took a sip from her drink and continued. “You’re never really _you_ around him either. You seem so worried he’s going to take offense to anything you say.”

Daine stared into the bottom of her glass. Even her friends saw it before she did. “I just…can’t believe it took me this long to see him for what he is,” Daine told Xena, her voice cracking.

Xena put her hand on Daine’s shoulder. “Hey, don’t look so down. I can’t tell you how many times people I know have stayed in less-than-healthy relationships longer than they should. It’s easy to hold onto the good and excuse the bad. They hardly ever show their true colors until you’re so far in it’s nearly impossible to break the attachment.”

_Heat a bathtub gradually enough you’ll boil to death before you know it._

“I…thank you.” Daine swallowed hard.

“Come on this calls for another drink.” Xena held up her new glass. “Pain makes you stronger, tears make you braver, heartbreak makes you wiser, and vodka makes you not remember any of that crap.”

Daine laughed and cracked a smile at Xena. “You always know the best way to put it,” she said as she took a large pull from her drink.

\--

Daine didn’t hear from Dominic in the days after their last fight. If he thought his silence was going to get her to run back to him, he was sorely mistaken.

She had just finished cleaning up after dinner when her omni tool pinged. Daine’s stomach dropped. The last thing she wanted was a confrontation with Dominic. Checking her omni tool, Daine’s dread turned to confusion.

_Report to HQ at 0800 tomorrow morning. You have an assignment. – Cdr. Kyala_

An assignment? She still had several months of SRD training before she could qualify as a squad member. What could this be about?

Daine reported in the next morning and was directed to Commander Kyala’s office. The Commander was waiting for her.

“Good, Officer Morah. I see you got my message,” Kyala addressed her.

“Of course,” Daine replied.

“No doubt it seems strange to you to have an assignment before your training is complete.” Kyala folded her hands on her desk. Daine nodded in response. “We don’t normally put trainees in the field so early, but we have encountered extenuating circumstances.”

The Commander typed a few commands into her omni tool and a display appeared on the wall adjacent to them. “Everything you hear and see from here on out is classified, understand?”

Daine nodded again. “Yes ma’am.”

“Right then.” Kyala pressed another command into her omni tool and images filled the display. “There is a criminal organization that has been targeting adolescent children of powerful human families that either live on or make regular visits to the Citadel.”

Daine looks at the faces on the screen. Most were teens only a few years younger than her.

“Rather than simply demanding ransom, these criminals send vids of their children being tortured, telling the families they will only stop if their demands are met.”

The Commander pressed her omni tool again and new images appeared. It now showed the injuries sustained by the abducted children. Most had shallow cuts, open and scarred, obviously repeatedly opened over and over. None were deep enough to be lethal, but were no doubt extremely painful. Others showed signs of burns.

“Whoever is behind the abductions is obviously…sadistic. Their demands range from influencing politics, manipulating trade deals, or just cold hard credits. While they do terrible things to the children, most have been found alive in various parts of the Citadel. The exceptions were one family that refused to comply with the demands and another that tried to go to the media.”

Kyala paused and with a somber look turned back to Daine. “We haven’t been able to get much of a hold on who they are or where they operate out of. They seem to keep the children drugged most of the time they have them. That’s where we hope you can come in. You’re the closest fit to the description victims that we have that’s at least partially trained in special operations.

The Commander clicked her omni tool a third time and the Undine, the Citadel’s most lavish hotel and conference center, appeared on the screen along with a portrait of a girl with long, blonde hair and blue eyes, maybe nineteen or twenty. “The annual Intergalactic Merchants Association banquet in three days and we fear one of the families attending will be targeted. Our proposal is to have you take the place of their daughter. If she is indeed a target, you would be able to get a tracker into where they take their victims and we would have some lead on them.”

Daine hesitated, overwhelmed with what she had just been presented with. “Ma’am, with all due respect, I don’t know anything about working undercover.”

“I understand. None of this is ideal.” Kyala looked intently at Daine. “Because of the risk involved with the operation, you are free to refuse it, no questions asked. Just know that right now, you are our best bet to getting a lead on who is doing this and stopping them from hurting anyone else.”

Daine took a minute to think it all over. She looked at the girl on the display. If she refused that girl could end up being the next victim on this screen, cut up and traumatized. She didn’t have much training, but she certainly had a better chance than the girl did.

“I’ll do it,” Daine finally told the Commander.

Kyala nodded. “We recognize the risk you are taking by doing this. There is still some time before the banquet. You’ll be excused from patrols in the meantime to prepare for the operation.”

Daine nodded and stood to leave.

“And Morah, we wouldn’t be asking you if we thought you weren’t up for the job. You’ve come a long way from the Academy.”

Daine was flattered. The Commander had never complemented her personally. “Yes ma’am,” she replied and headed to operations.


	11. The Party

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: torture

Daine took a deep breath. She had gone over everything – from blueprints of the building to the activating the tracker embedded in her bracelet – dozens of times. It didn’t make her any less nervous, though.

“Breathe, smile! Ideally this will just be a nice party that you can enjoy,” the father of the girl she was impersonating whispered in her ear.

Daine put on a fake smile as they greeted on of the man’s acquaintances. The girl’s clothes had fit her, but she wished she could have worn something less restricting. They had at least let her forego heels.

As the pair of them moved on to meet the girl’s mother at their dining table, Daine scanned the room. C-Sec had supplemented the Undine’s own security and she saw a few familiar faces. They nodded to her as she passed. Several skyvans were stationed around the Undine where Commander Kyala had chosen to personally oversee the operation. Daine relaxed slightly. She was hardly alone in this, even if she was the bait.

The evening was uneventful for the most part. Mostly her pretend father making small talk and his wife gossiping about the latest social faux pas.

_Is this really what rich people do for entertainment?_

She smiled politely and shook hands when introduced. Otherwise it was all pretty dull.

Daine excused herself to use the restroom as the last call for drinks was announced before the President’s speech. She weaved her way through the mass of wait staff that were now scurrying to fill last minute drink orders.

The bathroom’s lounge was larger than Daine’s entire apartment. She checked her makeup in the mirror. She had managed not to smudge it too badly. Daine did her business and exited the bathroom, nodding to the guard that had likely been assigned to follow her. She stopped at one of the windows to check on the van postings outside.

Suddenly she felt a hand on her shoulder. She tried to whirl around, but before she could she felt a pinch on her neck as she felt herself falling and the whole world went dark.

\--

The night had been quiet, but Commander Kyala had started to worry. Daine had gone into the washroom and she had yet to receive confirmation she had exited.

“Stations check in. Does anyone have eyes on Morah?” Kyala said over the comm.

Each of her officers reported negative visuals on Morah, all except zeta squad that remained silent.

“Zeta squad do you read? Do you have eyes on Morah?” Kyala repeated over the comm.

Still silence.

“Alpha squad check on zeta station in the atrium. They should have had last eyes on Morah,” Kyala commanded, worry fully setting in.

“This is alpha squad. No one’s out here ma’am. Wait…” The comms went silent for a moment. “Commander we found Jatari unconscious in a coat closet. The Undine guy was with him is gone.”

Kyala swore. She knew something had been off. “I want a full sweep of the building immediately. Beta and omega squads hold position to maintain watch over the guests and the Undine security. Skyvans be on alert for anyone trying exit the building. And someone get Jatari out to medical so I can find out how in the hell one of my best officers got taken out.”

Kyala paced the van checking the monitors for movement. The Undine only maintained security footage of its exterior. They insisted on maintaining a certain degree of privacy for their guests, whether or girl’s life was at stake or not.

“Commander we may have a lead. We found a piece of Morah’s dress torn off in one of custodial stairwells. There’s a maintenance shaft at the bottom that’s pretty big, they could have gotten out through it.”

Kyala swore again. The maintenance shaft hadn’t been on any of their blueprints. Likely a derelict one that had been abandoned with the building of the hotel. “Follow it and see where it goes. Skyvans start patrols for anything suspicious.”

She was not about to let one of her own fall into the hands of those monsters.

\--

Daine woke up on a bare mattress in a windowless room. Her dress had been replaced with a hospital gown, the bracelet gone. She tried to get her bearings, but her head still spun from whatever they had drugged her with. She fumbled with the ties on her gown, trying to wrap it more securely around her.

She heard footsteps and suddenly a light turned on, almost blinding her.

“Well look who decided to wake up. Did you have a nice nap?” It was a male voice. Accented. British origin.

Daine lifted a hand trying to block out the light enough to see his face. She could only make out his outline that proceeded to sit down in a chair in the middle of the room.

“Seems we have a slight problem little lady. DNA scans tell us you’re either an imposter or your mother found someone other than your father to keep her bed warm for a night or two. So this is your one chance to convince us: do I have a billionaire’s daughter I can keep as a hostage or a cheat that I need to take out to send a message.”

Daine’s eyes had adjusted slightly. She could see the man’s beefy frame silhouetted by the bare bulb he had ignited. A knife flashed in his hands as he toyed with it.

She tried to remain calm despite the fear threatening to overwhelm her. She had no choice but to try and stick to her cover. “I don’t know what you’re talking about. My mother would never…” she croaked.

“You better hope she did or we can end this right now.” The man rose from the chair, his height imposing from her position on the floor.

“M…my dad has a lot of money. He could get you w…whatever you need. Just let me go.” Her voice shook despite her efforts, fear diffusing its way into her words.

“Hmmm. I think I need a bit more convincing than that.” He rose from the chair and walked over to her, grabbing the back of the gown’s collar.

Grabbing at the throat of the gown, Daine tried not to choke as she was dragged across the floor and lifted into the chair. She could hear him pacing behind her.

“I suppose most rich families have their dirty secrets,” the man said to himself, reconsidering. “I always get the DNA samples myself, you see. A napkin, a discarded glass, so naively left for anyone to take. It seems your supposed father likes his whiskey neat when he goes to gamble.” He paused in his pacing. “Did mummy get knocked up with another man? Such a shameful act for such a prestigious woman.” He laughed at this, finding entertainment in his own cleverness and the suspected lewdness of a woman with such a spotless reputation.

“If you’re lying to me though, this is only going to last longer. So what’s it going to be?” He had stopped directly behind the chair.

“I’m t….telling…the truth.” Terror was sinking into Daine as she tried not to think of the images Kyala had shown her in C-Sec.

“Prove it to me,” the man’s voice said directly above her. With one fluid motion, he pulled open the back of her gown and made a clean slice on the top of her back with his knife.

Daine stifled a scream, trying not to give him the satisfaction of showing that he had hurt her.

“Start the camera,” he said, lighting a cigarette. Out of the corner of her eye, Daine saw movement toward the back of the room as the red light of a camera lit up as it was set to record.

_So there was someone else there._

The man made another cut, slower this time. Daine clenched her teeth and exhaled forcefully. She could feel the warmth of blood running down her back.

“Tell the camera how weak your daddy is for letting you get snatched up by big ole’ baddies like us.”

Daine remained silent, trying to ignore the throbbing from her back.

“Answer me when I’m talking to you!” The man pressed his cigarette into her shoulder and she couldn’t help but let out a yelp. She pulled away, but was still disoriented and overshot, falling entirely out of the chair and landing hard on the floor.

He pulled her back into the chair and made another swift cut across her back. “Now try again.”

“P…please. Help me,” she pleaded.

“Ask your daddy why he let this happen to you.”

He pressed the knife again into her back. The pain was nearly unbearable now. Daine hardly recognized the sounds the escaped her.

“Why did you…why…” The knife again burned across her back. Her head spun and she was falling into blackness once again.


	12. Holding On

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: torture, suicidal thoughts

When the merchant brought the vid to her she thought she was going to be sick. Commander Kyala had a strong stomach for most things, but watching one of her officers be tortured was something else. It had been five days since Daine’s abduction. They had searched every road and alleyway the maintenance shaft had led to, but there had been no sign of her or the missing Undine security officer. She had told Daine she would protect her and she had failed her.

She had her forensic VI run a scan to see if it could identify the man in the vid or where he was. It was the same as all the others though: room too dark to show identifying features, just the girl in a chair, crying out in pain until she eventually went limp.

Kyala slammed her fist down on her desk in frustration when the VI came back negative. Collecting herself, she addressed the merchant, “I apologize, sir, Mr. Nicklin. Thank you for bringing this to us. We are making every effort to locate her.”

“It’s okay, Lysel. I can’t image what this must be like. I owe that girl everything. If it hadn’t been for her actions and your support, that would be my daughter on that vid. If you need the funds, just say the word.”

The Commander tried to smile, but it turned into more of a grimace. “The powers that be want to give Officer Morah more time to see if she can activate her tracker. Believe me, I have every wish to take you up on your offer whether they like it or not.” If she had it her way Daine would be out already. No one deserved what was happening to her. She shook her head. “I just can’t believe she was able to hold onto her cover through all of it. They have to think she’s still your daughter in some capacity if they sent the vid and demands to you.”

“Like I said, just give me the word. I’m in her debt.” With that he turned and left her office.

Commander Kyala sat back down and held her head in her hands, turning away from Daine’s limp body on the display. How had she let this happen? She rubbed her face, motioned on her omni tool for the display to clear, and had it bring back up the potential leads she had so far. She had to find the girl. She couldn’t let her down again.

\--

Daine didn’t know how much time had passed since she had been brought to where she was now held captive. The drugs they had her on didn’t help either. They made her drowsy and disoriented, but did nothing to numb the pain. She could feel the dull throb of her back and the uncomfortable sensation of scabs clinging to fabric. Foggily, she remembered how quickly they had come down to the room the last times she had woken up. They must have a camera on her down here.

Keeping her eyes half closed and her body still, Daine did her best to look around the room. Some lines of light shown down on stairs at the back of the room. She must be in some kind of basement. She could just make out the chair they put her in for their sessions where she was supposed to “smile for the camera.” Daine tried not to think about those and squinted to see if she could make out more. There was something in the back corner. If she could just get a little closer…

Apparently she had moved just enough to indicate she was awake because with that, the door at the top of the stairs burst open and her captor and his goons made their way down. Squinting painfully through the light Daine tried to make out the corner she had been inspecting. It was a door standing ajar, leading into a closet under the stairs. She could see items strew about inside: shoes, clothes, various knick knacks. She caught sight of a flash of sky blue gauze. Her dress! Maybe the bracelet was in there too!

The beefy man dragged her from the mattress and into the chair as expected. She tried to make his cuts seem more painful than usual, which didn’t take much faking. The wounds he reopened seared as if he had taken a hot iron to them. This time after only a few minutes of his taunting and swipes at her, Daine pretended to faint.

“Well that was no fun,” the man said disappointedly behind her.

“You went into it too fast, sir. Got to ease in,” a gruff voice said from the back of the room.

“Do NOT tell me how to do my job. Now clean this up.” Daine heard the man walk away from her while the others started to scrub and hose down the floor. One closed the back of her gown and carried her back to the mattress. She kept her body as limp as possible until finally the room was quiet.

Daine opened her eyes. They had left the upstairs door open and she could clearly see the closet across the room. It took all her effort to try and coordinate her body, but she managed to right herself and rush toward her prize. Before she reached it, something hard collided with her temple and she landed flat on her back, stars dancing across her vision.

“Try to escape again and I’ll knock you down permanently,” she could just barely hear the beefy man speak to her as he stood over her, emerging from the shadows. He seemed so far away… She felt a pinch on her bicep and her body went limp as the world went dark.

\--

Daine stared blankly at the plate of food on the floor next to her. Since her attempt to get to the closet her captors had shut its door. A soft red light emitted from its panel. Clearly they had locked it. Had it been days since then? Weeks? Months? Not that she cared anymore. She just wanted it to end. No more pain. She could break the plate. Find an edge. Just make it end.

The door at the top of the stairs burst open, making Daine jump. The beefy man came down the stairs and stood in front of her, the others following with the camera.

“It seems your daddy doesn’t love you as much as you say he does. You see he could have gotten you out weeks ago, but has been stalling with his payment. So we’re giving him one last chance to save his baby girl.” She was dragged into the chair across from the camera. She should be horrified. Instead she was almost relieved.

The man began with his torturous display. She barely recognized her screams. They seemed to come from someone else entirely. Suddenly the camera’s red light faded out.

One of the beefy man’s henchmen gave it a whack, but the light stayed out.

“Sir, it’s out of charge,” the man informed her captor.

“Well FIX it. I’m not done here,” the beefy man replied, irritated.

The man with the camera walked over to the closet, using his omni tool to unlock it. Daine’s eyes widened. This could be her chance. She moved her eyes around the room, trying not to bring attention to herself. Her torturer had moved to lean on the wall opposite the closet, the other henchmen now sitting on the stairs. The man in the closet was rummaging through boxes on some shelves within the closet, presumably looking for the charger.

“Alastair, where the hell did you put the charg…Oooof!!”

Daine had made her move, coming at the man from behind and slamming her elbow as hard as she could into the tender spot at the base of his neck. He collapsed immediately, caving in the shelves and sending clothes flying. The boxes fell, spilling equipment and the trinkets of previous victims across the floor. Something small and silver gleamed toward the back of the mess. The bracelet!

Daine stumbled over the man’s body and dove toward the silver band.

“GET HER!!” she heard the beefy man boom.

Bracelet in hand, she slid the back to the side and activated the tracker. The beefy man was dragging her out of the closet by her ankles, but stopped as his omni tool scanner went off.

“Damnit! She must have activated some kind of tracker. Get everyone to clear the place NOW!” He pulled her up by the collar and pressed her face-first into the wall. “You’re more trouble than you’re worth.” Something hard collided with her head and the world went dark.

\--

When Commander Kyala’s omni tool alarm went off, she nearly jumped out of her skin. She stared, shocked, as coordinates ran across the screen.

_Morah’s tracker!_

Kyala sent the command for all SRD units to assemble and pulled the coordinates up on her office display.

_Warehouse district. Living quarters. Seven floors. Basement level._

She could hardly believe after twenty-eight days, the girl was still alive. Kyala slid open her weapons locker and threw on her gear. She left her office at a run, pressing commands into her omni tool in preparation of briefing her teams on the go.

Once teams were assembled, Kyala had given the command to clear the airspace to their destination and they were at the building within minutes. Local patrols had surrounded the place and were grabbing people trying to flee left and right. Smoke was billowing out of the windows from one of the upper floors, likely an attempt to destroy evidence.

Kyala gave the command to start sweeping the building floor by floor. She diverted her two best to teams to follow her as point as they cleared the first level. The majority of the squads headed upstairs while Kyala put a boot through control panel of the basement access. The door fell open and she and her squads proceeded cautiously into the unlit room.

The flashlights on their rifles revealed blood everywhere, the majority under a chair standing at the center of the room. A man’s body was lying half under the stairs, struggling to free himself from the clutter within. He was swiftly pulled out of the closet and detained.

“Clear ma’am.”

Kyala’s light fell on the back corner of the room and her heart sunk. A women’s form, covered in a tattered and bloody gown lay limp on a bare mattress. She ran over and dropped her rifle, pulling the girl into her arms.

“Goddess, she’s breathing,” Kyala whispered.

Daine felt herself being shaken awake. Her head spun violently. Eyes opening slightly, she only made out a mix of deep blue and purple.

 _What a weird dream,_ she thought to herself as the colors spun together back into darkness.


	13. The Meaning of Suffering

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> TW: descriptions of torture, PTSD

Daine woke up in the hospital the next morning. Her head felt foggy, but for the first time in what felt like an eternity she wasn’t in pain. But how did she get here? How had she escaped?

A nurse entered her room and introduced herself.

“Good morning Officer Morah, good to see that you’re awake. I’m Nira, I’ll be taking care of you today.”

“Wh…where am I? How did I get here?” Daine croaked, her voice still filled with sleep.

“You’re at Huerta Memorial Hospital. You were brought in yesterday by C-Sec. From the officers’ conversations, it sounded like they found you during some kind of raid. The commander that escorted you feared the worst, but you were in better shape than expected.”

Daine nodded, forcing herself to focus. She was having trouble concentrating, but she had to know what had happened.

“The doctors found that you had a moderate concussion and were anemic from significant blood loss in addition to a fever from several infected wound sites. Everything has been cleaned and treated and you should be feeling better from your fluids overnight. I have to warn you though, the pain meds they gave you when debriding and cleaning your wounds will likely be wearing off soon. We’d like to avoid keeping you on the strong stuff, but please let me know if you’re experiencing discomfort.”

Daine took a better look at her surroundings. She was in a private room with a large window. Light curtains hung in front of it, but she could see it had a pleasant view of the Citadel. She had been propped on her side on the bed. She could feel the bandages wrapped around her back and torso under her gown.

“If you wouldn’t mind sitting up, I can go ahead and change your bandages for you. Then we can see about getting you some food. You must be hungry.”

Nira moved over to the side of the bed as Daine rose, wincing as the motion pulled at the healing cuts on her back. Nira went to open the back of the gown, but Daine involuntarily gasped and pulled away.

_He pulls at the ties on the gown, exposing her skin. The fire of his knife follows soon after. She screams._

“I…sorry.” Daine moved herself back into a sitting position, but she couldn’t shake the terror that had suddenly enveloped her.

“What if you open the gown for me? Would that be better?” Nira asked her, giving Daine space. Her inadvertent trembling must have given her away.

“…yeah. I can do that.” Daine took a deep breath trying to calm herself. She undid the ties and let the back fall open.

Nira worked slowly, but deliberately, talking to Daine as she went. Daine had never liked doctor’s visits, but if they had been anything like Nira she wouldn’t have minded them. Once the asari was done, she placed a small cup of pills in front of Daine.

“Pain meds and antibiotics. I’ll get you some food to take those with.” Nira turned and left the room.

Daine could feel a dull throb starting in her head and her back was starting to sting. Nira must have been right about those pain meds wearing off. She took the pills with some water she found on her night stand. The food arrived soon after. Daine had little appetite, but picked at it to help the pills go down.

Nira came in to check on her every few hours and deliver her meds. Otherwise the hospital was pretty dull. They told her it would be best not to watch TV or do much reading for at least a week to allow her brain to rest. She was left with nothing but her thoughts. She tried to shut them out. She wished she could sleep. Anything to stop her from remembering.

She was relieved when Commander Kyala came to visit later that afternoon.

“How are you feeling? Are they treating you okay? Your nurse said you were doing well, but if you need anything just say the word.” The Commander seemed anxious for some reason.

“I’m doing fine, Commander. Nira is taking good care of me,” Daine replied.

“Please, you can call me Lysel here.” She paused and looked intently at Daine, seeming to inspect her from head to toe with her eyes. “You’re sure you’re okay? You were in…bad shape last night.”

Daine couldn’t imagine what it must have been like finding her in that basement. She must have been a mess… “I’m just glad to be safe, Commander.” It wasn’t a lie, she wanted to be as far away from that place as possible. If only it would stop haunting her in her mind.

“Please, Lysel. And I’m glad. I would have had you pulled out as soon as Nicklin got the first vid, but Executor Pallin saw you as our only chance of bringing down this ring. Said they were humiliating powerful families and making C-Sec look bad.” Kyala looked at Daine apologetically. “I’m genuinely sorry for what happened to you, Daine. No one should have to go through that no matter what the gain.”

A wave of anger rose from Daine’s chest. _They had a ransom vid and decided not to get her out? Hadn’t they seen what they were doing to her?_ Daine looked away, trying not to let her emotions boil over. It hadn’t been the Commander’s call, but still, she had trusted them to keep her safe.

“Nicklin made sure you got the best doctors and a comfortable room here once he found out we found you. He’s eternally grateful for what you did for him and his family,” Kyala commented.

“He damn well should be,” Daine spat involuntarily.

“I’m…sorry. I came here because I thought you should know we got all of them due to your actions, Daine. Many were arrested, several tried to fight back and died in the skirmish, others were consumed by the fire. Their ring has been broken and loose ends are being tracked down as we speak. All because of you.” The Commander got up to leave, but Daine stopped her.

“Commander, Lysel, wait. I didn’t mean to snap like that. It…couldn’t have been an easy decision. Don’t blame yourself for this.” Daine gestured to herself and the Commander nodded in reply.

“This operation has haunted me for weeks, Daine. I’ll do my best, but I cannot excuse myself from all fault.” Kyala moved toward the door. “Take care of yourself, Daine. And again, let me know if you need anything.”

The Commander hadn’t been in that basement with her, but she had suffered in her own way: the suffering of knowing something terrible is happening and being able to do nothing about it.


	14. On the Brink

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: suicidal thoughts

Daine’s sleep was fitful. Every time she would finally drift off she was back in that basement. Everything seemed so real. Her screams echoed off the bare walls of her prison until she woke to them echoing off the walls of her hospital room. Her nurse for the night would come in to comfort her. She was nice enough, but it did little to soothe her.

Daine was grateful when Aseythia came to visit the next day.

“You would think when your best friend disappears on a top-secret SRD mission, they would tell you when they finally find her.” She looked Daine over from the doorway. “You look like hell.”

A gruff laugh escaped Daine. Her friend was never one to beat around the bush. “Last night was…rough,” she explained.

Aseythia came the rest of the way into the room and took a seat at Daine’s bedside. “They’re taking care of you? You’re not in too much pain?”

Daine shook her head. “No, no, they’re taking great care of me. It’s my…brain. Whether I’m awake or asleep it wants me to think that I’m still there in that awful place.”

Aseythia looked at her understandingly. “I’ve heard that’s pretty common for people that have experienced trauma. Have you talked to anyone else about it?”

“No, not yet. I thought it was just something that would happen every now and then and pass, but after last night…” Daine trailed off trying not to think about it.

Her friend covered Daine’s hand with hers. “You should let your nurses know. They might be able to do something to help. And you can talk to me in the meantime if you want.”

“How much do you know about what happened?” Daine asked her friend.

“Not any more than what’s on the news.,” Aseythia told her.

“I wouldn’t know. No TV.” Daine pointed to her head. “Concussion.”

“Well the short version is big bad criminal ring broken up, rich, uptight humans everywhere breathing a sigh of relief, undercover C-Sec officer saves the day,” Aseythia responded.

“Is that what they’re saying about me?” Daine asked surprised. She hadn’t done much other than survive.

“More or less, yeah. They haven’t released your name, but I have my ways of finding things out.” Her friend smirked at this. Daine was sure she did. The asari had excelled at her rotation in the investigative division. Daine had no doubt she would make a great detective someday. “So how close were they to the real deal?” Aseythia asked.

“They might have left out the part about me being locked and tortured in a basement for four weeks,” Daine responded.

Aseythia frowned. “They had said there had been abductions, but nothing about torture.” Aseythia look her friend over again. “No wonder you’re having nightmares.” The asari paused and pressed a few buttons on her omni tool. Daine’s flashed in response. “I’m not trying to tell you what to do and don’t take this as I think you’re crazy or something. I sent you my sister’s contact to your omni tool. She’s a doctor in the psych ward, one of the best. If the nurses can’t help you, there’s no doubt she would be able to. Just please take care of yourself. You got through all that alone and you got out. It’s okay to ask for help now.”

Daine tried to lighten her friend’s now grave tone. “Honestly talking about anything besides me or what happened would probably help the most. What’s the latest C-Sec gossip?”

“That’s…the other thing. You okay enough to get some kind of disturbing news?” Aseythia asked.

“Like what kind of disturbing?” Daine questioned back. “Sex scandal? Someone get pantsed in the squad room? They let a volus on the force?”

“Daine, I’m serious,” Aseythia responded.

Daine crossed her heart and in a reciting tone said, “I, Daine Morah, before Aseythia Prani, do solemnly swear I will not have a mental breakdown upon receiving her _disturbing_ news.”

Aseythia half smiled, but her face remained serious. “If you say so. It’s about your boyfriend, Dominic.”

Daine got quieter. “He was on his way to be ex-boyfriend when I left. What happened?”

“He stormed into the squad room drunk a few days after you had disappeared. He thought they were hiding you from him, that you had tried to run off with someone and they were trying to keep him from hunting you down. When they tried to talk him down he pulled a gun on them. Demanded they tell him where you were. Of course, no one knew, but he kept threatening them, even fired over their heads. Someone managed to get to their sidearm, and well…” Aseythia paused for a moment, trying to read Daine’s reaction, “…he’s dead, Daine.

Daine was silent for a moment, then responded, “Is it bad that I’m almost relieved?”

“From what Xena was saying about him, I guess not. I just thought you should know,” Aseythia said in response.

“He nearly put a hole in my wall and I have no doubt he had no qualms about putting a hole in me if I pissed him off enough,” Daine explained.

The two women talked for a few hours afterward, Daine catching Aseythia up on her previous boyfriend troubles and Aseythia distracting Daine from the dark thoughts that permeated much of her time alone. Ultimately, vising hours came to an end and Aseythia had to leave.

“I’ll visit again tomorrow after work. And don’t forget about that number I gave you!” Aseythia reminded Daine as she left.

Nira came by soon after for Daine’s evening bandage change. As the nurse was working, Daine thought about telling her about her nightmares, but decided against it. She was feeling much better after her visit with her friend. Maybe tonight would be different.

Unfortunately, the nightmares still came. She decided to give up on trying to sleep and asked the overnight nurse if she could go for a walk. The nurse didn’t see a problem with that and assisted her with disconnecting her monitors and IV line temporarily. She insisted that her omni tool be on panic mode while she was up, though. Its red light shone softly as Daine walked gingerly down the hall, her back and head still sore.

She came to a lounge with a large balcony patio overlooking a small park with shops lining its perimeter. She went out the doors and leaned against the railing. The air was just as recycled out here as it was inside, but it was nice to at least have the illusion of being outdoors. She must look silly standing out here in her hospital gown, but there was no one around to see.

She was so tired it _hurt_. Her nightmares were no longer even real events anymore. She had dreamed the beefy man had found her in her hospital room and taken her away to punish her for escaping. She felt trapped. What kind of life was this? Even with the physical pain masked for the most part, he still found ways of hurting her.

Daine climbed up on the railing to sit, her feet dangling over the edge.

_It would be so easy just to lean a little more forward. A thrilling leap to a sudden end. No more traps. No more pain._

She stood up on the outside of the railing.

“Daine! What are you doing?!” The nurse had come to check on her and was now running over to help her back onto the balcony.

“Sorry, ma’am. I was admiring the view. Just on my way back over the railing,” she told the nurse.

As the nurse helped her back inside, Daine stole a look back at the balcony. It scared her how close she had let herself come to actually letting go.

\--

Daine sent a message to Dr. Prani in the morning. The doctor herself came by soon after to do an evaluation. Daine’s story felt out of her mouth before she knew what was happening. She did her best to save face, but by the end of it she could feel the tears running freely down her cheeks.

“I’m…not sure how much longer I can live like this,” Daine finally admitted to the asari.

The doctor rested her hand on Daine’s shoulder. “Let me speak with your doctors and we’ll see what we can work out. I’m confident we can get through this together.”

She ended up being moved to the psych ward for monitoring and therapy in addition to her medical treatments. Medications were also added to her regimen to help her sleep and decrease her anxiety.

After hearing what happened the night before, Aseythia came to the hospital immediately.

“You really didn’t need to take off work to see me. You were right, your sister is very good at what she does.” Daine had been slightly ashamed to let her friend know she would now have to come to the psych ward to visit her, but Aseythia, as supportive as ever, had helped her feel at home in her new room.

“Of course I did. And you didn’t have to grow up with her. She’s way too brilliant for her own good sometimes. Very annoying,” Aseythia joked just loud enough for her sister to hear in the office space across the hall.

“I can _hear you_ Aseythia,” the doctor called from her desk.

“That’s the _point_ Tarsidia,” Aseythia responded.

The two of them half-bickering like children got a laugh out of Daine, who was rather emotionally drained after spending most of the morning talking to Dr. Prani. She supposed that was the point because Aseythia smiled in response.

Aseythia kept Daine company as she had the day before, for which Daine was grateful. Daine had one last meeting with Dr. Prani before she left to go over their arrangements should she still find herself unable to sleep. Her nurses had been made aware of her nightmares and knew how to adjust her medication if necessary. By the time they were finished, Daine was already feeling drowsy from the pill she had taken beforehand.

“I know we’re all strangers to you, but please, I encourage you to be as open as possible about what you’re feeling and experiencing. It’s the best way we can know how to help you,” Dr. Prani told her before leaving.

Daine nodded, her eyes heavy. She followed the doctor out of the meeting space and turned off at her room. Daine dozed off and was finally able to sleep fully, only once being awakened by her dreams.


	15. Healing

Though her wounds were mostly healed within a couple weeks, Daine spent nearly a month in the hospital under the supervision of Dr. Prani. It had taken time for therapy to help her cope with what had happened to her and Aseythia’s sister was able to help her develop strategies to calm herself during her flashbacks and nightmares. Daine eventually saw a decline in both toward the end of her treatment as her therapy and medications helped her return to a more normal state of mind. Anxiety and fear no longer permeated every moment. She now only needed to take sleeping pills on very bad nights. It was a relief to be able to sleep through the night and not wake up in the fog they left her in.

At long last, she had finally been cleared to move back to her apartment. Upon her arrival, she found Aseythia and several of her friends already there to welcome her home. They had all worked together to clean the place up before her arrival. The party was a small, quiet gathering for which Daine was grateful. It was good to see her friends, but being social still wore her out.

Falling into her own bed that night felt heavenly. Daine reveled in being able to spread herself out under her own blankets. Her hospital bed had been comfortable enough, but you could only stretch your legs so far without falling off.

After a few days of unpacking and adjusting to normal life, Daine met with Command Kyala to discuss her leave of absence.

“Officer Morah. I’m glad to see you’ve been cleared from the hospital,” the Commander said to her as Daine entered her office. “I apologize again if our last meeting was…upsetting. I hope you’ve been getting my updates on our follow-up investigation.”

“It was nice of you to come visit ma’am. I was in a pretty bad place to start with so it wasn’t your fault that I was emotional. It was thoughtful of you to come. And yes, I’ve been getting the messages. I appreciate it,” Daine responded. They had been able to arrest several other people with ties to the criminal ring from the data Kyala’s agents had been able to recover from the building where Daine was held. It had helped a little knowing the trauma she had experienced had not been for nothing.

“Good, I’m glad to hear. To get to the point of our meeting, I wanted to check in with you to see if you were still interested in working for C-Sec. You are obviously welcome to take as long of a medical leave as you need, but I wanted to make you aware of the steps to return should you desire to.” The Commander watched Daine intently, waiting for a response.

Daine had in fact given it some thought and discussed it with Dr. Prani later in her sessions. Her job at C-Sec meant the world to her, but she had been worried staying in that line of work would bring on flashbacks. The doctor had been encouraging about her desire to stay and predicted it would be possible, though it may take some additional acclimatization to desensitize her to situations that would bring her mind back to her abduction.

Finally, Daine gave a response, “I would like to eventually return to C-Sec, ma’am. I discussed it with my doctor and she said it may take some additional desensitization training, but if you’re able to accommodate that I’d be more than happy to rejoin the force.”

Kyala nodded at this. “We’ve had several officers return to duty after rather traumatic events and have been able to work them up to regular duty gradually with a great deal of success. We provide physical training sessions to all officers that take a leave of absence and can integrate some desensitization into those. Once you complete a fitness test and feel mentally ready to return to duty, you’ll be more than welcome to.”

Daine smiled. She had been slightly nervous about this meeting, fearing that Kyala wouldn’t let her rejoin the force or bog her down with duty restrictions. It was a relief they would accommodate her needs both her physically and mentally to get her fit for duty. “If you’ll allow it, I’d like to start training as soon as possible. It’ll feel good to be up and moving again.” She had physical therapy sessions at the hospital, but none of it compared to the adrenaline rush of sparring or field drills. That and she was likely incredibly out of shape.

The Commander raised her eyebrows in surprise, but nodded in response. “I can have something set up for tomorrow if you’d like. 0700 should work for the person I have in mind.”

“I’ll be there. Thank you, ma’am.” Daine was almost giddy with excitement. Her apartment had started to feel as dull as the hospital once she had settled back in. It was nice to have something to do outside its four walls.

The next morning, she arrived at the training facility as planned. When she saw who her instructor was she laughed out loud. “ _Xena_?!? You’re my training instructor?”

The turian flared her mandibles in a smile. “Who knows you and how to knock you on your ass better than your old sparring partner?”

Daine was indeed grateful to have someone who she didn’t need to explain everything that had happened.

“Don’t think I’m going to go easy on you,” Xena said with a wicked grin.

Even with her foreboding remark, they stuck to basic exercises that morning. Daine was indeed out of shape; after jogging for just ten minutes she thought her lungs were going to explode. Xena drove her hard enough to challenge her, but didn’t push her beyond anything she couldn’t handle. Daine left with her arms and legs feeling like jelly.

Daine soon fell into a regular routine. She started most mornings with Xena, primarily focusing on getter herself back into shape for now. She had also started checking in with her old contacts from her patrols on Shalta ward. They were mostly shopkeepers and residents with a few regular visitors. If she was going to return to duty, she was going to need to be up to date on what was happening on the ward and other parts of the Citadel.

She usually ended her mock-patrols at the ward’s upper club, Ember. She knew the bartender well and he was a trove of information she couldn’t get anywhere else. Who had eyes for who, who was dealing, who owed who money. Drunk people were loud and always said more than they should.

Daine walked up to the bar one night hoping he would have something for her. It had been a slow day checking up with her usual contacts and she was hoping for at least one juicy bit of gossip. She was disappointed even by him though.

_No news is good news, I guess,_ she thought to herself.

She took a seat and sipped her drink, watching the crowd. It was a rather busy night with many people stopping in for happy hour to celebrate the end of the work week. Looking across the bar a man caught her eye. She hardly ever saw drell on the Citadel and this one seemed to be scoping the crowd as well. He was trying to be subtle about it lounging at the back corner of the bar, but he was obviously looking for someone. In training they had been told few drell ever left Kahje, though some sought adventure off planet. Others acted on behalf of the hanar, gathering supplies and assisting them with more physically demanding tasks, though her instructors had warned that some served a more nefarious purpose.

Daine watched him closer, taking another sip of her drink. Suddenly he seemed to focus in somewhere. Scanning the crowd at the bar, Daine saw a human man had just approached to order. The drell had shifted his position to get a better view of the newcomer. On closer inspection Daine saw the human was someone she knew – one of the ward residents she often checked in with. The drell stayed in the shadows while maintaining his line of site on the bar. If he wasn’t trying to meet up with the man, could this be one of the agents she had been warned about?

As the man finished his drink and started to leave, the drell rose and began to follow. He moved through the crowd like water, effortlessly weaving through the people to prevent disturbance. There was no way he was simply a civilian. Daine had to do something. She transferred the credits for her drink on her omni tool and got up in pursuit.


	16. Abrupt Interruption

The drell shifted from his place toward the back of the bar. He had spotted his target. His informants had told him he was a regular and the information had paid off. He was grateful for the crowd. It would make following his target undetected easier. As the man began to leave the drell followed.

Suddenly he was grabbed on the shoulder from behind. He whirled, detaining the arm of the person who had interfered and was met with a pair of blue eyes starring him down.

“Before you do what I think you’re going to do you should see something,” the human female told him.

“This does not concern you,” the drell responded, pushing her away.

She grabbed his arm again. “Try me.”

The drell was losing precious time. He broke her grip and scanned the club. He had lost his target. She was making this more work than it should be.

“I know I won’t be able to stop you from completing what you set out to do here, but you should know what you’re doing before you go through with it.” The human moved away from him and gestured for him to follow.

He had already lost the target for now. No harm in seeing what the women had for him. To be perfectly honest with himself, he was curious. On only one other occasion had he been stopped in pursuit of a target. He pushed back the surfacing memory in order to focus on the woman in front of him.

They walked the ward for some time, eventually arriving at a row of apartments. Here, the woman deviated, moving toward the back of the alley and the fire escape. She pulled down the ladder and they climbed up the catwalks.

“You know this place well,” he commented.

“I would hope so,” was her only response.

A few floors up, she stopped. “You were probably hired by Blue Suns right? To take out Diebold for embezzling some of their smuggling profits?”

The drell cocked his head. How could she know any of that?

“This is why,” she gestured toward the window near the landing they were on.

He moved to look through the window. He had a clear view of the one-room apartment. The furnishings were simple and nondescript. The exception was in the corner closest to them. A boy lay in a hospital bed hooked up to several machines. A woman sat next to the bed reading to the boy. His target entered carrying a bag of groceries.

“The boy’s treatment costs thousands of credits each month. He should be living in the hospital, but this is what they can afford, even with taking money from the Suns to facilitate their smuggling operations and pocketing a little extra.”

The drell turned back to the woman, who was now leaning against the railing, arms crossed. He rarely considered the background of his targets any further than he needed to in order to complete his assignments. His body did as his employers willed, justified or not. The woman had compelled him, though. What had brought her to know so much about this man and stand up for him in such a way?

“Say I can be convinced to let this man be. How do I know what you’re saying is true? What stake do you have in any of this?” he asked her.

“Any good card player knows not to reveal their hand. The evidence is before you, do as you will.” She turned and began climbing down the catwalks.

The drell hesitated, then made up his mind. He slid down the fire escape’s exterior, landing in front of her. “Answer some of my questions and it is my promise no harm will come to that man.” He had no intention of continuing his assignment after what he had seen. The woman intrigued him, though. His mind felt more awake than it had since…he didn’t want to go there just now.

The woman crossed her arms again and sighed. “I was a C-Sec officer. He’s a dock worker. He gives me the latest on the Sun’s operations and I turn a blind eye to his activities. He’s a small pawn with legitimate debts to pay so I let him be.”

The drell raised his eyebrows, “ _Was_ a C-Sec officer?”

“I’m on medical leave. Not any of your business. That enough for you?” she asked him.

Her explanation had only given him more questions, but he knew better than to press her further. He tilted his head toward her. “I guarantee no harm will befall the man by my hand,” he assured her.

She turned to leave, but paused. “I feel like I’ve told you enough to at least get a name, mister…?”

He raised his eyebrows. He had a number of false identities he could give her, but with her skills she would likely see through them. “Krios,” he replied.

“Right. The name’s Morah.” With that she turned back onto the main walk and was soon lost in the crowd.


	17. Games

It hadn’t been difficult to find Officer Morah again. It seemed many people on Shalta ward knew her, if nonspecifically. Thane watched from the catwalks as the woman entered the coffee shop just as the barista had mentioned she did most mornings. A female turian in a C-Sec uniform accompanied her. The woman’s hair appeared damp and was pulled into a loose bun. From her appearance, she didn’t seem to have any obvious illness or injury. What could be incapacitating her enough to warrant a medical leave?

From what he could hear they seemed to be discussing some type of training. The turian excused herself after some time, heading in the direction of C-Sec headquarters. Officer Morah lingered for a short time and then left, moving onto the main walk through the center of the ward.

Her behavior intrigued Thane. She moved through the ward as if on patrol, checking in at various shops and with people of note.

_So this is why so many know of her._

He followed from the catwalks when he could and kept his distance when he had to move to the street. He was confident he remained undetected.

As they moved into the warehouse district she dropped off the main road and moved toward the docks. He recognized his target from the previous night – Diebold. They chatted for a few minutes and after a genial goodbye, moved on.

 _He’s still alive. I kept my promise,_ he willed to tell her with his mind.

She continued like this for most of the day, stopping for lunch at a café toward the lower end of the ward. She bought a second meal and brought it to a rather raggedly dressed young man that had been waiting just outside the shop. They talked briefly about minor goings-on in the lower wards before he thanked her again for the food and disappeared down an alleyway. She too knew the value of the _drala’fa_.

Eventually they came full circle to Ember, the club where he had first encountered her. She seemed to be well-acquainted with the bartender, who joked with her about standing him up the night before.

“I had some business to take care of. I left a good tip though, right?” Thane could just barely overhear their conversation with the music blaring in the background.

“Always so serious Daine! When are you going to lighten up a bit and just enjoy the club?” the bartender prodded her with an amused smile.

_Daine Morah. So that was her full name._

She sat in the same place as the night before. Thane had noticed her arrive, but had dismissed her presence in search of his target. He should have paid better attention. Though she masked it with her relaxed posture and intermittent friendly banter with the bartender, she was obviously watching the crowd, monitoring the movements of everyone in the vicinity. He would have stood out as someone who was there for more than just the party.

As the club filled patrons, the bartender became busier and had to leave Daine to her own devices. She seemed quite comfortable sitting on her own observing the crowd. Thane felt compelled to go down to her. He wanted to know more – why she maintained daily patrols despite being off-duty, what was keeping her from currently serving, what kind of training she was doing with a uniformed C-Sec officer. He had been in his battle sleep for so long he had grown complacent. She had shown him he wasn’t as subtle and skilled as he thought. No one had done that in years and it had set fire to his curiosity.

Despite his better judgment, Thane made his way down from the catwalks approached from behind where she was sitting.

“May I buy you a drink?” he asked as he slid up to the bar to sit beside her.

Daine nearly jumped out of her skin as she recognized the voice. Turning to its source, she saw she was correct. “Mr. Krios. I don’t normally accept drinks from assassins, but I know this bartender well, so why not.”

“Please, call me Thane.” He raised his eyebrows speculatively. “You trust him that much? Most people can be bought for some price.”

“My company is priceless.” she responded smartly.

“Making friends are we? No more business I hope,” the bartender had returned to where Daine was sitting to check on her.

“I’ll get the next round,” Thane told him. “Business?” he inquired, addressing Daine.

“Hey, I already answered all the questions I owed you,” she replied.

Their drinks arrived and he continued with his probing. “You seem rather calm for sharing drinks with one of the galaxy’s deadliest assassins,” he commented to her.

“I’ve stared down worse,” she replied, then continued. “I had one of my friends run some background on you. It seems you are rather famous for making people to disappear. Isn’t being so public bad for your life expectancy?”

“My life expectancy is already drastically reduced, but not from people trying to kill me. They leave me be for the same reason you haven’t had your friends at C-Sec try to arrest me,” Thane replied.

Daine frowned. “Most of them would probably die trying,” she replied. “You’re dying? You don’t seem sick.”

“You don’t either,” he countered.

Daine sighed. “Fine then. You answer one of my questions and I answer one of yours. Sound fair?” she inquired.

He smiled. He had made her just as curious of him as he was of her. “Alright then,” he replied.

“Ok first question: what is _drastically reducing your life expectancy,_ as you put it?” she asked him.

“Kepral’s Syndrome,” he replied. “Our species does not survive well in humid climates. My line of work entails going wherever I am needed, keeping me from only frequenting climate controlled areas. My question, then: why are you on medical leave?”

Daine broke eye contact and stared into the bottom of her glass. “I was captured and tortured on an undercover mission. I only got out of the hospital about a month ago.”

 _No obvious physical deficiencies_ , he noted, _must have been mentally traumatizing._

“And your training?” he asked.

She turned back to him and raised an eyebrow. “So you’ve been following me,” she stated accusingly.

“You fascinate me. I wanted to know more,” he replied simply.

“I intervene on one of your hits and that makes you want to know more about me?” Daine asked dryly, not convinced. “Should I be stepping up security at my apartment?”

“That wouldn’t stop me. And yes, I had become too accustomed to completing my marks unchallenged. You woke me up, made me work with both my body and my mind.” He paused, reflecting on the previous night. “My soul has been closed off for some time,” he finally said.

“So I guess I’m stuck with you then,” Daine said.

“Say the word and I’ll leave if you want me to,” he replied. He hoped she would decline the offer.

Daine hesitated, then responded, “I suppose I was enjoying our game. And it’s my turn.” She turned to face him more directly. “What in the galaxy do you mean by your soul being closed?”

He gave a small smile. _So she was curious_. “Drell believe the body and soul are separate entities. I have acting with only my body, doing as my employers bid without much thought as to their implications. My soul is closed to such sentiments. I am only their weapon and nothing more, though I pray to Kalahira to forgive my wicked deeds. There has only been one period in my life where I have been truly Whole and awake, until now,” he explained to her. “Now I believe I was asking you about your current training.”

Daine gave him a quizzical look. The more answers he gave the more of an enigma he became. “I’m training to rejoin C-Sec,” she clarified. “I was out of commission for some time and have been working to get back into shape. Before my abduction I was training to join an SRD squad and need to be back in peak condition in order to continue.

Thane tilted his head. “An assassin in a different sense then,” he commented.

“I guess you could say that. I’ve only shadowed missions so far other than when I was undercover, though. And that didn’t go quite as planned.” Her gaze became far away for a moment. She then closed her eyes, breathed deeply, and continued her questioning, “Who’s Kalahira?”

“The Goddess of Oceans and Afterlife. She judges our deeds when our soul departs and goes to the Sea,” he attempted to explain, but Daine’s face showed she was only more confused. “She ferries the souls of the departed across the great Ocean to our final resting place,” he clarified.

“Your religion seems very complex,” Daine commented.

“I suppose to someone who is unfamiliar with it,” he replied. “If you’re on leave, why do you spend most of your day on patrols?”

Daine frowned. She didn’t like that he had followed her for most of the day without her knowing. “Contacts are vital to being a good officer. I need to maintain them if I’ll be returning to duty,” she replied. “I suppose it also gives me something to do. I try not to get lost in my thoughts too much. When was the time your soul was Whole, as you say?”

His eyes became unfocused. He began to speak as if she wasn’t there.

 _Crying from the room ahead_  
_Strange smells – blood and antiseptic_  
 _I finally see her – radiant_  
 _She comforts the infant in her arms_  
 _I embrace them both_  
 _Overwhelming affection_  
 _My heart feels as if will burst_

When he came back to his senses he was met with Daine’s shocked expression. “I apologize. Drell have perfect memories. It can be easy to slip into particularly strong ones. My wife, and later our son, were who woke me up previously.” He paused and his face darkened. “Batarian slavers took them away from me.”

 _So he had a family once_ , Daine thought to herself. “I’m…sorry,” Daine replied still a little shaken by Thane’s solipsism.

“There is no need to be sorry. I have since come to terms with their loss – my wife to the Batarians and my son to my own neglect. I closed off my soul as I mourned Irikah's death and was unable to properly care for him. I hadn’t put much thought into finding him, but now…” he trailed off as he was lost briefly to his own thoughts.

They continued their game, slowly deciphering the complexities of one another, until the bartender interrupted them.

“Last call folks! You really did make up for leaving early last night, Daine,” he commented as he winked at her.

“We’re good, thanks,” Daine replied. As the bartender moved to check on the other guests, Daine addressed Thane, “Do you have a place to stay here?”

Thane laughed softly. “If you count a cot in a shipping container,” he replied. “I sold off my place here after moving my operations to Illium and prefer not to be on hotel registrations when on assignment, even under an alias,” he explained in response to Daine’s quizzical look.

“I have a couch you can sleep on if you’d like. I should be turning in, my training is early in the morning,” she offered.

He raised his eyebrows. He was surprised she’d invited him into her home, but gladly obliged. “If you don’t mind, I’d appreciate it.”

With that they paid their tab and headed out to Daine’s apartment.


End file.
